Who's to Blame?

Last year, while I was struggling to accept the loss of Baby Sarie - one of our neighbors and her daughter dropped by to visit. We live next to a compound of low-cost houses (I think they're all relatives who inherited the land) , and I was so touched that they brought me some apples though I knew that they did not have that much.

I learned that the daughter miscarried that month as well. But the news came as a complete shock, since her daughter was only 13 years old! Pregnant and miscarried at 13? The girl used to visit our house a lot when Rachelle and Irene were still here (my foster sisters) , they played tag, Barbies, and badminton. As I stared at her thin, barely developed frame, I couldn't help but wonder - what could drive a girl of 13 to "explore" that much and get herself pregnant?

Last night, our long time yaya told me that the now 14-year old girl was pregnant again. By the same 18 year-old jobless out of school youth. It really broke my heart as I envisioned how this would really affect her adolescent years and her psychological state. At 14, I was a junior in high school and worrying about what to wear to prom. At 14 , she would battle morning sickness and the emotional stuff that goes with it.

But at that age, where can one really learn about reproductive health, sex, having babies and its consequences? Who could have warned the girl about how a few moments of release can alter her whole life? How can her young mind handle such a long-term situation? I can only pray that all goes well and that their family can handle these challenges.

Blame the girl? Blame the boy? They wouldn't have understood because of the lack of information (or the quality of available information) out there. Blame the parents? But what if they lack the education as well? Who really teaches family values and interaction? Blame society? School? The Catholic Church?

I hope our society accepts this reality about sex once and for all. So that more and more people (especially the young people!) realize that it is more than just pleasure or pressure or a practice. That one night (or one day, or one hour, or 15 seconds of "heaven") could lead to a long term commitment.

I applaud DOH Secretary Cabral for her spunk and steadfast attitude about RH. The campaign could be improved, yes - to avoid any misunderstanding. But it's a start.

I am a Catholic. But the church, just like everything else - should adapt to the changing times and think of ways on how they can adjust their teachings so that they may be absorbed by the increasingly misinformed and misguided public.

Old-school teachings need to be altered to consider the existence of uncontrollable media.